Sleep Paralysis

So, two night in a row now I've suffered from what I think may have been Sleep Paralysis.  One thing I do know is that it was more terrifying than any nightmare I've ever had.  Jackson has been up a lot at night and I struggle to get back to sleep afterwards.  I am very restless and toss and turn and do my best to sneak a couple Zzzz's.  The night before last in the early morning - I had my first episode.  I was 'dreaming' that there was an intruder in my room, crawling into the bed - and I couldn't move - I couldn't speak - I couldn't wake myself up.  I knew I was dreaming - and felt like I was in limbo between reality and the dream and I couldn't do anything.  I was scared and uncomfortable.  I didn't want to close my eyes again.  BUT, this mornings was far worse.  I was struggling to sleep on my stomach after the 3 am wake - and the next thing I knew I was being pushed down face first into the mattress in a forceful way.  I felt like I couldn't breath.  But worse, I couldn't move.  I couldn't call out.  Then I started hearing sobbing.  Each time I closed my eyes tighter, the sobbing would get louder, so I tried to keep them open.  I tried to move - to scream - to overcome the huge weight pushing me down and I couldn't.  I remember being awake but not being able to wake.  I was petrified.  I saw flickers of lights.  I could have sworn something was in the room causing this 'attack'.  I remember biting my thumb in my 'dream' harder and harder to wake myself up because it was the only thing close enough.  I believe that was what did the trick.  I woke up completely panicked and fearful.  I didn't let my eyes close for the rest of the night because I was so afraid.  I believe looking back - the sobbing may have been coming from me. 

I did some reading to see if anyone else has ever had this happen.  That's when I discovered Sleep Paralysis.  It fit the situations perfectly - and I'd like to believe in the scientific explanation  of the brain and body not being connected causing hallucinations, etc. versus the thought of some god awful spirit plotting its attack on me.  

For any interested...this article really helped me gain some level of comfort.  If this has happened to you - you aren't alone!  Read this article - Sleep Paralysis:  Awake But Still Asleep