Dear Sawyer,

Thank you for giggling and kicking your feet at me 

every time I shoulder check your direction in the car!  

It's really quite endearing that you think it's an ongoing game of peek-a-boo! 

Your giggle is outstanding!  I will take it any chance I get.  

Your smile is so special and I love that you seek opportunities to be playful and engaging. 

I hope you never lose that quality!

Love, Mom

Jackson's Birthday Breakfast

When Trevor is home, he always wants to make a special birthday breakfast for whoevers bday it is.  It is an excuse to make a nice breakie...I think it's close to being his favorite meal!  Lucky for him, and us, Jackson celebrated his 3rd birthday this past week.  Where oh where does the time go!  Jackson has been loving him some watermelon lately.  Summer will do that to you!

So, we had watermelon pancakes.

YUM.

The Tractor's Back

Yesterday my parents brought back Jackson's tractor that had been hibernating for the winter at their place.  It was like it was just as exciting as when he got it last year for his birthday!  Only this time, Sawyer was excited too.  At first I thought Sawyer would be afraid sitting in the trailer...but then later in the evening he was playing on the grass and crawled right up in there himself.  It was all good fun until Jackson jackknifed the trailer and Sawyer tipped out!  Whoops!  All in fun and learning!  Really, could Sawyer be any cuter waving away? 

Summer BBQs

Isn't that what the summer is all about?  BBQs?  Fun?  Outdoor play time?!  I can say for sure around here that it's exactly what we look forward to.  We've had a bbq the past few nights.  Eating outdoors, running around, enjoying messy watermelon!  Not too much is better than messy watermelon in the summer!  Landon came over three nights in a row to hang out with his cousins.  It was nice to see the three boys together.  It doesn't happen very often, which is unfortunate as they really only live about 8 minutes away.  The boys are all a year apart.  And, Jackson was asking for Landon the next morning, so having some fun play time is a good thing!

Snapshot

Here's a snapshot of Moose's big day yesterday!  Too much fun!  Smiles all around!

Favorite

One of my favorite photos from holidays.  I'll remember that 'bull dog' expression for a while.  It is his 'molar cutting' expression and we saw it a lot down there.  Poor bug, I'm sure it's outta discomfort, but too cute nonetheless!

Swim Pics

 Although Trevor was incredibly missed during this vacation, I can't put into words how great it was taking a trip with Nicole.  Her and I have been through a lot together.  I adore her.  She will always be 'Auntie Cole' to my boys and a close friend that I will always cherish.  It was nice spending a special trip with her!  The boys, Auntie Cole, and I loved the pool and it was pretty much a daily activity, as mentioned before!

 I feel like Sawyer changed a lot while we were in California.  For one, he cut THREE more teeth (what is it about California that makes this boy teeth!?) - all molars.  Yuck!  He is picking up words and catches me off guard how he mumbles things that sound so accurate I think twice!  He slept like a dream down there considering the heat and the teething.  I felt like he is really starting to come out of his shell!  He's always kinda been the quiet brother - but he's starting to step it up in the personality department!  I love this critter, he is just too darn sweet!

My Boys.

We always make it a priority to hit up Jackalope Ranch.  Not for the food.  Not for the drinks.  Not for anything that one would usually go to a restaurant for.  We hit it up because the grounds there are GORGEOUS!  It's just impossible to pass up.  

These boys are my everything.  It is so interesting how having them in my life has changed me forever.  I want them to experience things.  I want them to see the world and all it has to offer.  The little things.  The big things.  The focus is no longer on me...it's on them.  It doesn't matter that I waited an hour in line at Disneyland to go on a ride.  I don't care about the ride, I care about seeing Jackson experience the ride.  I don't want a chocolate covered ice cream cone, I want to see Sawyer's face covered in a mess and a smile.  They are on my mind.  Any joyful experience I have in life I can't help but wonder how they would feel having the same experience.  They are always on my mind.  Are they happy?  Are they clean?  Are they experiencing life to it's fullest?  Are they being adventurous enough?  Safe enough?  Do they feel the love?  Do they know how lucky they are to have each other?  Do they enjoy their lives?  Do they know how special they are and how their faces make my whole heart open up and swallow them whole?  

I am not a perfect mother.  I am never going to be perfect.  But - to them - I'm 'Mama'.  When Jackson falls out of bed in the night, it's 'MAMA' I hear and my magic kisses he wants.  When Sawyer feels threatened or scared, it's my leg he finds and crawls up.  I love it - this thing called motherhood.  It's hard and it's all-consuming.  It's what has made me who I am today and in return who they will be tomorrow.  It's a little piece of magic in a world that can seem so crazy and unpredictable.  A bit of safe. A bit of heaven. Our heaven.

I was just looking at those sweet faces and reflecting on Mother's Day.  I have been with the boys for the past three weeks mostly without Trevor as he's been working.  It's been hard.  But, I am lucky.  These boys are special.  I know that when Dada comes home tomorrow they will be consumed by his fun, his love, his cuddles, his amazing skills at being a father.  But, I will still be 'Mama'.  Together, we make a pretty good team!  I couldn't ask for much more.