No Sleep + Stress = A Painful Experience

Well, last night we probably experienced the worst of it so far.  I am STILL on hold with the hospital and was checking email - so I thought I would fill everyone in.  Yesterday we went to the Stollery at about 3:30  pm.  Lets just say we got home at 3:30 am without our baby. 

It was a very long hard experience.  We were up and down a lot.  We were asked by our health nurse to take him to check him in for some phototherapy for his jaundice and it was made to seem like we were just checking him in and it was all very routine and scheduled.  This was so far from the case.  In the morning the health nurse was in our home and took blood and sent it to Grey Nuns...it still came back high, so apparently all the arrangements were made....Nope.  

We went assuming this...and it was so far from the truth.  We had to sit in the emergency waiting room for 3 hours and were in the bed at the ER for 8 1/2 hours.  I can't explain how exhausted both physically and emotionally we all are.  He was poked and proded every way possible as they tried to get an IV and blood.  One minute it was we could take him home, the next minute it was he had to stay.  Finally at 3:00 am we were 'admitted' and he was taken up to a room.  It was a very nice room and the nurse was very sweet.  Because we were told that you were only aloud to stay if you were exclusively breastfeeding, we weren't prepared for this.  It turned out one of us could have...so we felt a huge guilt in both leaving.  It was hard because we had Kia at home and I had none of my medication and I am not able to drive yet...

We weren't prepared for any of the experience (via formula, diapers, etc.) as I am a new 'stupid' mom and we were thinking it was a drop and go experience.  I will never ever be under prepared again...a lesson to us all I suppose.  It really was all just so stressful!  

When we went to leave, the parking ticket machine wouldn't work and the arms wouldn't let us out...so we had to sit there and get security to come...not what you want at 3:30 in the morning.  We both found our way to our bed around 4 am and are now waiting to hear on Jackson's results and getting ready to go visit our strong, handsome, loving, oh-so-good little man.  He was INCREDIBLE throughout all of it and I was so proud and amazed at how adaptable he was and good.  I didn't know the heart could grow to love in such a deep rooted way...

We will keep all of you posted on his results and when we get to bring him home...again!  Thank you to all of you who offered to help and who have been checking in.  It is nice to know that he is already so welcomed and loved by so many great people.